My Birthday

Yesterday 11/18/07 was a good day for me. It was my birthday. My spiritual one..
On 11/18/01 at 8pm I sat on the front row at Smyrna Baptist Church with my friend Pam Rios and admitted I was a sinner and accepted the Lord as my savior. I had been a member of my church for almost 3 years (I don't remember the exact amount of time), thought I was saved, but wasn't sure.

I can tell you about that day. Since the homecoming services in September of 2001. I had been wrestling with emotions. I wasn't good enough to do anything. Everything I did, turned out the exact opposite. Dinners were being burned, fires almost started in the kitchen, always butting heads with Grace, my father and anyone else that I came into contact with that would conflict with me. The only ones that didn't get me upset and angry at the moment was when I went to church for Sunday services and Wednesday night services. I WAS PUTTING ON A FRONT! But I would come home from church, sitting at the dinner table and talking bad about the church members. No we didn't have roaster Preacher, daughter dumplings, or any other family member side dishes. But it was always, why did that person do this and why does that member always talk like that. Why does this one do this and that. That person makes me so irritated. Always because I was wrestling with AM I SAVED?. Please keep in mind, Grace was attending West Gate Christian School. She was saved and I was too, right?

Anyway, this particular Sunday, Grace had to sing in the choir at West Gate. We had planned to go to our Sunday School, go to West Gate for the singing and then back to our church for the sermon.
Well, we sat in the back where the latecomers sit because we were leaving Sunday School early. Pam was leading the Sunday school singing and was teaching us "Do you know my Jesus". I couldn't sing it. I cried the whole time. In fact, I hid my eyes with the song sheet from Missy Dean so she wouldn't see my tears.
We went to West Gate, Grace sang, Brother Shaw had everyone sing "Thank you Lord for saving my soul". I couldn't sing that, either. We left before Pastor Turner started to preach. Got to Smyrna in time for my Pastor to say you should know the date and the place where you got saved. He said that he didn't check the exact time on his watch but he remembered the type of day and other particulars. He said it with emphasis enough to make me almost stop in my tracks when I walked in the door. Grace and Alicia (she had gone with us to West Gate) sat on the back pews in the corner giggling about someone who had fallen to sleep in church. After the invitation was given I went up but didn't ask for anyone to go with me. I just prayed. After church, we were going to Publix and I said to Grace, I don't think I am saved and I didn't want to embarass you. She said Mom then you need to take care of it.

I did my normal Sunday routine. Ate lunch, took a nap. Got ready to go back to church. Brother Gay then had us sing Victory in Jesus. I was sitting on the 2nd or 3rd pew in the middle section of the church. I covered my eyes with the book because I was hiding my tears. During our handshaking time I told Pam I need to talk to you and made plans to talk later that week. I got through the service and after the invitation, I told Pam can we talk now. I then told her and saw a look of shock on her face. And then, God, Pam and I got it taken care of, right then!

I don't know where my life would be without the Lord. Yes, I still stumble and fall and make silly mistakes - mostly opening my mouth without thinking in advance. But I know who I am now and where I will be after I am not on this earth any longer. I know that I am to follow God's will and not my own. I know the past 3 years have been rough on me and my family but I know who has been and will continue to be glorified through it all and it is worth every trial and tribulations I can go through if it makes me closer to my Father. I am not well versed in scripture and do not know a lot of things other people know but I don't need to compete with them nor do I need to compare myself to them. The only thing that matters is

I am a Christian and proud of it.

I continue to grow, learn and teach others (with the children's Sunday school class and Jr. Church) and I wouldn't give it up for anything unless the Lord has other plans for me.

I only wish that I had done this 20 years earlier but I know that this all was in God's perfect timing and HIS WILL not my own.

11/8/07

Today is a really good friend's birthday.

We don't get to see each other often because she lives about 30 miles away.
We don't even get to talk on the telephone that much anymore nor do we get to send emails back and forth. We usually get to read each other's blogs- she comments, I lurk. I do that well and daily might I add.

So,

This one's for you Pam.


Happy Birthday, have a great day and God Bless you.